Smiles and Smokes
by I'llDieLaughingAtYou
Summary: Junno centric with Ryo and Ohkura appearences. PG-13 for swearing, slightly yaoi. The people are from Japanese bands called KAT-TUN and Kanjani8


Sometimes smiling seemed like the only thing he had, the only thing that was truly his

Sometimes smiling seemed like the only thing he had, the only thing that was truly his. And sometimes it hurt to smile, he was always the one to be so ridiculous happy that happiness was the only thing people expected of him. Was he not allowed to think deeply? He wasn't beyond pondering things; his smile didn't mean that he was unintelligent. Yet still others thought him incapable of a thought that didn't revolve around video games or a bad dejares. None the less he was grateful for his smile, because he had perfected it in the years he'd been in Johnny's. It was an impenetrable wall that never let anything out, it was perfect for hiding behind. Such as right now, his smile appeared and the world was alright, despite that he was so tired he couldn't even sleep, despite that he wanted to cry out, scream, yell. Was it ever going to end? Didn't he get a bad day? Jin certainly did, and he had many of them. And Kame was a drama queen that had many bad days. Ueda was pissy half the time and Koki was just Koki. Even Maru had had his ups and downs.

So what was he? Not a joker, evident by the way they bullied him about his puns. He wasn't the amazing singer that Jin was; he didn't have the large repertoire of dramas and movies that Kame had. He couldn't beat box, or even box for that matter, and he wasn't the gangster and rapper. What image did he leave behind after stumbling off stage from the third and fourth encore? What could he give to the thousands of fans that showed to the concerts? Never feeling important hurt more then the insults that seemed sarcastic half the time and completely true the other half and he was tired of everything. Who would willingly stay with people that never acted like friends? Did he deserve it? He loved them and KAT-TUN, he loved singing and dancing, he loved the fans, he loved being an Idol.

These depressing thoughts plagued him as Jin, Kame, and Yamashita returned from their outing for lunch, and he hurriedly threw up a smile. Neither fellow band members spared him a look but Yamashita did, and the frown haunted him as the NewS leader left.

"Junno, stop leaving your dumb games around, they're pissing me off." Jin called out moments later, throwing the game to the other couch. He would laugh it off like usual, pick up the game and say he was going to get a drink, it was all routine. But as he left the dressing room, Kame's comment followed him, "Fucking annoying." The words stung but left no lasting mark, he'd heard worse from Kame after all, and so he continued on his way, the mask of the smile only faltering a bit. On the roof was much better then being in the building and it was a nice little place where he could take smoke and just be alone, he loved it there and went as soon as he had free time. No one knew that he smoked, and he worked hard to keep it that way. And it worked, no one had ever seen, wondered or asked if he smoked, he liked it that way. Who'd ever think that Junnosuke Taguchi, failure comedian of KAT-TUN, would smoke? Footsteps sounded in the stairwell to the roof and he quickly threw the cigarette over the railing but couldn't hide the smoke that was drifting away from him. It was Ohkura and Ryo that came in view, both talking animatedly, with grins on their faces.

"Oh, Taguchi! Why are you here?" Ohkura asked, not noticing the smoke billowing above Junno's head.

"Smoking you baka, it's quiet obvious." Ryo answered snarkily, gently hitting the back of Ohkura's head.

"Well….shut up!" Ohkura ignored the swat at his head in favor for rushing to Junno's side. "What are you doing out here?" He asked again. Junno threw up the smile again but it was useless to Ryo who rolled his eyes and pulled out a smoke of his own.

"Just smoking, like Ryo-san said. Please don't tell anyone though." He added as an after though, imagining the looks he'd get. "It wouldn't fit very well with my image would it?"

"What does it matter what your image is, be who you want to be. And stop fucking smiling like that, it's annoying and painful to see, if you can't smile for real then don't." Ryo glared at Junno before lighting up and taking a drag. Junno's smile dropped and he slowly nodded.

"What happened?" Ohkura asked, hugging Junno before leaning against the wall.

"Nothing happened, I just wanted a smoke, I come out here in my free time." Junno shrugged and stared out at the view of Tokyo that the roof gave. Ryo snorted incredulously and leveled Junno with a look.

"That's bullshit. You're out here because you don't want to smile right? It's just the same as what Massu went through, though none of us ever insulted or hated him, he just didn't want to smile."

"They don't hate me." Junno glared at the ground, immediately defensive of the group. "They just don't…"

"Like you." Ryo finished for him, a smirk encompassing his face. Ohkura kicked him harshly and turned to Junno.

"Taguchi…" Ohkura started and then paused.

"I'm fine." Junno pushed off from the wall and started to leave but Ohkura leaped forward and grabbed Junno's arm, desperate to get a word in, to make the other feel worthwhile.

"You're a dancer Taguchi, one of the best in Johnny's. And you're fun to be around, you're smart and thoughtful and you're a true friend. You're not fake and you would never pretend to like someone you didn't. You have tried the hardest you could ever and you just got a bad deal, you might not be recognized within KAT-TUN but without you, they'd be nothing. You bring the life to the party, whether or not your jokes are funny. You have an amazing personality and when you love, you really love. You're a great person Taguchi and if the rest of KAT-TUN can't see it then they're missing out. Besides, everyone else can see your talent, what else do you need?" Ryo stared at Ohkura in shock and then his eyes shifted to Junno.

"He's right you know, you are a hell of a dancer." He added almost regretfully, not wanting to seem…nice. Junno turned around and for the first time he smiled. And with tears in his eyes he was truly happy for being an Idol.

"Arigatou. Both of you."

"Tch. No need to fucking cry." Ryo rolled his eyes, looking away, embarrassed. But Ohkura nodded and blew him a kiss, giggling as the other turned and left. "Well that went well, if I ever see him fucking smiling like that again, I'll punch him." Ryo took another drag and grinned at Ohkura. "Happy now?" Ohkura grinned and placed a kiss on Ryo's lips.

"Yup!"

((That was painfully rushed feeling, I don't know how well I did. xDD Whatever. Maybe I'll revise it two years from now.))


End file.
